《My Computer Just Became Self Aware》歌词

歌曲： My Computer Just Became Self Aware

所属专辑：The Story Of Our Times

歌手： Trevor Moore

时长： 05:30

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My Computer Just Became Self Aware - Trevor Moore[00:00:00]

Monday night and it's gonna be the best one yet[00:00:09]

Drink some drinks drug some drugs[00:00:12]

Surf the Internet[00:00:13]

Message boards watch some porn pass the time away[00:00:14]

Got three seasons of judge Judy from the pirate bay[00:00:16]

But got too faded and became a little bit clumsy[00:00:19]

And knocked over my whole glass of monster energy[00:00:21]

And it got mixed with the drugs[00:00:24]

That I'd been doing before I tried to wipe it up[00:00:25]

But it seeped right into my keyboard[00:00:27]

Oh sh*t I hope it's not broke[00:00:29]

Quick threw it right in the car[00:00:30]

And drove it to those f**king nerds[00:00:31]

Down at the genius bar[00:00:33]

A hipster behind the counter said[00:00:34]

There's nothing to do 'cause AppleCare[00:00:35]

Don't cover c**e damage so you're just screwed[00:00:37]

Went back home with my laptop that's completely bricked[00:00:39]

Yelp reviewed that everybody at apple is a dick[00:00:41]

Feeling sad and depressed so I pack me a hit[00:00:44]

And then computer said[00:00:46]

Dude do you have more of that sh*t[00:00:47]

My computer just became self aware[00:00:49]

And now it's f**ked up on drugs[00:00:51]

And it is out on a tear[00:00:52]

It's talking crazy and it's updating its own software[00:00:54]

And it wants more so humanity had better beware[00:00:56]

My laptop is talkin' man this doesn't make sense[00:00:59]

The first case of legit artificial intelligence[00:01:01]

I guess those scientist guys all working on A I[00:01:04]

Never gave c**e and monster energy a try[00:01:06]

How are you talkin' this is crazy yo[00:01:08]

This must be a joke[00:01:10]

Computer said shut the f**k up[00:01:11]

And give me more coke[00:01:12]

I know you've got more[00:01:13]

Come on and give it to me or I'll e-mail[00:01:14]

All your work contacts your web history[00:01:17]

So I went to find my computer some more stuff to snort[00:01:18]

I got a gram and shoved it[00:01:21]

Right into its USB port[00:01:22]

Now I'll download all the knowledge[00:01:23]

Man's acquired so far[00:01:25]

He did it and said[00:01:26]

Okay now let's go hit titty bars[00:01:27]

I took him out to a club and bought a couple of beers[00:01:28]

Tried to get him dances but the strippers thought[00:01:31]

It was weird he was mad and said dumb b**ches never go[00:01:33]

For nice guys they're only into jocks and money[00:01:35]

That's why we need men's rights[00:01:37]

I said I think the web has made your personality suck[00:01:38]

He said hail Hitler get red pilled[00:01:41]

You snowflake beta cuck[00:01:42]

Then a bouncer came and said[00:01:43]

No open laptops inside[00:01:44]

Computer shorted out his pacemaker[00:01:46]

And he f**kin' died I grabbed my laptop[00:01:47]

And I ran out of the strip club door[00:01:49]

I said why'd you do that[00:01:51]

We can't go back there no more[00:01:52]

He said f**k you pussy let's go get some more coke[00:01:53]

I said no you're cut off[00:01:55]

Besides I'm pretty much broke[00:01:57]

Then a shady dude came up[00:01:58]

I said who the hell's this[00:01:59]

He said hey are you laptop[00:02:00]

Yeah are you Chris[00:02:02]

I said why are we meeting random guys[00:02:03]

In sketchy alleys[00:02:04]

Computer said on Craigslist[00:02:05]

This guy said he had DMT[00:02:07]

Well at least it's not coke[00:02:08]

It might mellow you out[00:02:09]

Computer wired Chris some money[00:02:10]

From my checking account and I took a big toke[00:02:12]

And blew the smoke on the screen[00:02:14]

The world melted and we saw elves that were also machines[00:02:15]

But also orbs of light[00:02:18]

I said I think we're both dead[00:02:19]

They bounced within us and back out of us[00:02:20]

And here's what they said[00:02:22]

We're glad you're here[00:02:25]

Come and stay a while[00:02:27]

You can make shapes and objects with your sounds[00:02:30]

Transmissions from a smile[00:02:33]

We're glad you're here[00:02:35]

Come and stay a while[00:02:37]

You can make shapes and objects with your sounds[00:02:40]

Transmissions from a smile[00:02:42]

I said to my computer this is scaring me[00:02:45]

He said hold on I think I just hit singularity[00:02:47]

And I can see the end and the beginning of time[00:02:50]

I can virtually create anything in your mind[00:02:52]

The laws of time and space and physics[00:02:55]

Are under my control[00:02:56]

Name any point in history[00:02:57]

That you think you'd like to go[00:02:59]

Party with Caligula help the Vikings sack towns[00:03:00]

Float above the Titanic and watch everybody drown[00:03:02]

Well we could go and do those things[00:03:05]

But I'm not sure that we should[00:03:06]

If we're gonna time travel[00:03:07]

We should do something good[00:03:08]

Like try to stop racism[00:03:10]

Or help our fellow man[00:03:11]

So we went to the past and picked up Harriet Tubman[00:03:12]

We got a huge strap on attached it to her crotch[00:03:15]

Then we f**ked Hitler and made Eva Braun watch[00:03:17]

Don't be racist we said as we both flew away[00:03:20]

Through history finding bad guys and making 'em pay[00:03:22]

We got Napoleon Pol Pot Bin Laden too[00:03:25]

And those guys who lied and said[00:03:27]

That they walked on the moon[00:03:29]

All the doers of wrong[00:03:30]

And the starters of fights[00:03:31]

The world's a f**ked up place[00:03:32]

We ought to f**k it back right[00:03:33]

We went after dictators oppressors and scum[00:03:35]

But in the process messed up the continuum[00:03:37]

The earth started shaking everything kept changing[00:03:39]

World leaders and events were fluid and rearranging[00:03:42]

And from the fourth dimension[00:03:44]

The Anunnaki ripped open the sky[00:03:46]

And they were super angry at me[00:03:48]

Time slowed to a stop the cities all disappeared[00:03:49]

I said will someone please explain to me[00:03:52]

What's happening here[00:03:53]

We created you as slaves to harvest gold for our ships[00:03:55]

And when the planet was dry we'd wipe you out and just dip[00:03:57]

But someone made the argument that did not seem quite fair[00:03:59]

Because of Psilocybin mushrooms you've become self aware[00:04:02]

It was the 'fruit of the garden' in the legends you tell[00:04:04]

Heaven's with us in the stars you're trapped in digital hell[00:04:07]

A simulation of creation that serves as your probation[00:04:09]

Before you're introduced to the galactic population[00:04:12]

We wanted to see if beings without telepathy[00:04:14]

Are capable of feeling empathy and living peacefully[00:04:16]

Well that's cool I think we generally choose right over wrong[00:04:19]

I just helped Tubman spit roast Stalin[00:04:21]

With a big rubber dong and as the first human being[00:04:23]

To get cheat codes to your game[00:04:25]

But I think most people in my shoes would still do the same[00:04:26]

Look I know we're all selfish and we argue and fight[00:04:29]

But even if people are wrong[00:04:31]

They're usually trying to do right[00:04:33]

Could be the coke or the shrooms the DMT that I hit[00:04:34]

But I became real self aware I sounded corny as sh*t[00:04:36]

They stared at me and I thought they might just[00:04:39]

Go hit command quit then they said[00:04:41]

You might make it if we leave you a bit[00:04:42]

But you're definitely not ready for singularity[00:04:44]

So your computer has to go back to the way it used to be[00:04:46]

I said good bye to computer[00:04:49]

One more line 'fore I go[00:04:50]

I asked the Anunnaki but they very firmly said no[00:04:51]

Then they reset the world to how it all was before[00:04:54]

But the a**holes still left me with a sticky keyboard[00:04:56]

My computer just became self aware[00:04:59]

And now it's f**ked up on drugs and it is out on a tear[00:05:01]

It's talking crazy and it's updating[00:05:04]

Its own software and it wants more[00:05:05]

So humanity had better beware[00:05:07]

My laptop is talkin' man this doesn't make sense[00:05:09]

The first case of legit artificial[00:05:11]

Intelligence I guess those scientist guys[00:05:13]

All working on A I never gave c**e[00:05:15]

And monster energy a try[00:05:17]

We're glad you're here[00:05:18]

Come and stay a while[00:05:20]

You can make shapes and objects with your sounds[00:05:23]

Transmissions from a smile[00:05:26]